Thursday, September 21, 2017

The Can't Afford Chokes On A Cord!

What was that? You can't afford it where you are at? Yeah, that million dollar house is probably out of reach. I don't think you'll be flying off to space to teach. But what was that? You can't afford "that" is still your chat?

Can't afford a 2 dollar ticket.
I think I'll picket.
That I can't do.
Nope, can't afford one or two.

Can't afford a 50 cent bar.
Not good at ones and bar.
But doesn't matter to me.
Can't afford it you see.

Can't afford a shoe lace.
Nope, I just can't embrace.
I have to walk in bare feet,
As I go down the street.

Can't afford a bucket.
Yeah, $3 I say fluck it.
That is far too much money.
No, I'm not being funny.

Can't afford a toe nail clipper.
Hey, at least they look chipper.
My zombie feet are in.
Don't you think them a win?

I can afford a cruise.
And with it much booze.
That is so great.
I got to be first mate.

I can afford a $100 cell phone bill.
That is such a thrill.
I can be connected everywhere.
Unless in a deep, dark bear lair.

I can afford a $10 coffee with ease.
I buy them whenever I please.
They are just soooo good.
I won't share in my hood.

I can afford designer clothes.
I can even get a new nose.
Don't I look good striking a pose?
Look at my manicured toes.

I can afford the latest trend.
Not having it may offend.
I need to get it first.
That old one may burst.

A bit of a conundrum there. Pfffft to such humans at their lair. Are you one that cries poverty at your sea when it is clearly the fault of thee? Hopefully not. The cat would make fun a lot. There are a ton of those though. Oh no, a 10 dollar haircut I can't afford at my show. But oh yes, a $5000 designer bag I can afford because it has class. Pfffft again to such humans says my little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Wednesday, September 20, 2017

Time For Play All One Way!

The cat plays two way here and there. Mostly with Cassie at our lair. But I eat the dog for fun. That is more one way as I bite his bun. Seems to be one way a lot though. But still fun for me, don't you know.

This is my play.
They didn't see it that way.
I guard the hallway.
No one getting through is play.

Oh, I see more.
I give a roar.
They give me a few glares.
Then they go back downstairs.

I'm still playing one way
I'm having my say.
Thinking how I will play with your toes,
While I strike a pose.

 Cassie wants in.
She'll take one way for a spin.
A little whack near,
And howling I could hear.

She did not care.
 In one way play all is fair.
Even standing on his house.
Or treating him like a mouse.

 Staring at him works too.
Look at his angry view.
Isn't that fun to see?
One way play amuses me.

Get even closer still.
That is sure a thrill.
He's got nowhere to run. 
Stuck with her fun.

 Did you wail?
Oh look, my tail.
I bet I can get that in.
Time to go for the win.

 See? Shadow's on the wall.
That means she won it all.
She is standing tall.
The other guy isn't having a ball.

Grumpy he is still.
Cassie got a thrill.
 Now time to stretch.
One way play sure beats fetch.

Do you do one way play? What? It's fun for the one way player at any bay. The grumpy guy didn't want to join in for a playing fit. I guess he's too old for that shit. Cassie was more annoying to him than me. I better up my game at our sea. I can't be out shined by Cass. I will have to be a more one way playing little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.

Tuesday, September 19, 2017

It's Official Now So Doesn't It Wow?

You can count on me to bring you everything at my sea. Who needs products that are great? These ones have been proven to be top rate. That is all you need to know. I'll even tell you so.

Pee Water, The Official Water of Dogs.
Nope, not those lazy hogs.
You can be sure it is great,
Because mutts take the bait.

Flip Flops, The Official Shoe of Texas Rangers.
Damn, they'll sure stop dangers.
It's official so buy, buy, buy.
Off the shelves they will fly.

Moose Print Bed Sheets.
The Official Sheets of The Streets.
Millions of streets vouch for these.
Buying them should be a breeze.

Piss Warm Beer.
The Official Beer Of Doctors Who Study The Ear.
We were too lazy to look up the correct name.
But 100% we back our claim.

Walkie Talkies, The Official Communication Means of The NSA.
Now doesn't that just make your day?
You'll have to get them next time you're out.
Antique stores may be about.

Trees With Branches.
The Official Trees of Cow Ranches.
So that is how they grow.
It is always good to know.

Butt Cracks and Shopping Carts.
The Official Product of All Wal-Marts.
Hmm, that one wasn't very new.
I think everyone has seen that view.

Alarm Clocks, The Official Clocks of Bosses.
My, they sure don't want to suffer losses.
Bosses everywhere want them sold.
Alarm clocks are pure gold.

Chewed Gum Under A Seat.
The Official Gum For An Early Childhood Treat.
And best of all it is free.
Hmm, I think we'll go back to the tree.

A Filled Up Litter Box.
The Official Box of The Makers of Socks.
Because then they'll get you to buy more.
Hey, can't help if we miss at our shore.

I have so many more to share. You can email me and I'll send you thousands at your lair. These Official products really help you to buy. Who cares if they aren't used by the Official girl, team, or guy. They have The Official in the name. So that is all you need to light your flame. Pfffft and I'm really a singing bass. So says The Official little rhyming ass.

Fill your rummer, get drunk all summer.